An Ode to Customer Service - by Jim Sterne

Have received this article from friend. It is very true indeed in customer point of view. It can be used as a case study material for help desk support personnel. You will enjoy reading it.

I have a little problem, so I call you on the phone
I'm given numbered options - to punch them each by tone.

After hitting number 7, then 2, 8, 6 and pound
A short recording tells me that no operators can be found.

They're busy helping others and would I hold this once?
Because my call is SO important. What am I? A dunce?

My call's not so important that I'll spend an hour on hold,
While my shoulder aches, my patience bakes and my coffee
grows green mold.

Nothing your recording says can cause me to believe
That my call will be taken in the order it was received.

So down I put the telephone and up I pick the modem
To find solutions on your site, and once found, download
'em.

I calmly wait while DNS looks up your URL
Until your server answers your home page front door bell.

I wait for frames to paint themselves, my solution to begin.
And then I wait for plug-ins so I can see your logo spin.

I wait to get an audio file - greetings from your CEO
He doesn't get the Internet, but he loves the radio.

I wait until a picture of your building is on my screen
And I realize there are things that should not be heard
nor seen.

Finally, there's a menu and I poise my mouse to click...
But first, a Java applet! "Starting Java." I know that
won't be quick.

The menu choices indicate you know yourselves full well.
You know all about your company and that's what you want
to tell.

But where's the button I can push, that takes me to the page
That solves my problem? Feels my pain? And soothes my
mounting rage?

There, in the lower corner, down by the copyright
There's a little tiny icon that looks as if it might

Be a link to customer service. My troubles soon will quit!
I click upon it and I get... a 404... Oh, sugar.

And when I finally reach that page that promises relief.
I'm staring at a document that's far beyond belief.

For where there should be answers to frequently asked
questions
And online help and knowledge-bases, is naught but
indigestion.
For there in type italics, underlined and bold
Is the number for your help desk phone.

I should have stayed on hold.

[Jim Sterne is an international consultant and author of
four books on using the Internet for advertising,
marketing and customer service.